…We have “pasta Tuesday” every single Tuesday. I’m at Yoga and Adam’s skills in the kitchen include boiling water and forgetting to turn off the oven. But he’s really good at spaghetti with red sauce. Whenever I clean the pots and dishes, I have to smile. You taught us that it’s NOT ok to pour your spaghetti sauce straight out of the jar, onto your pasta. You heat it up in it’s own pot. “Those small pots are called sauce pans for a reason.” You also used as many dishes and utensils as possible when cooking and presenting a meal. I obvi like to do as little work as possible after cooking. You liked to get a bowl out for each ingredient to set on the table, which pissed me off since I was always on clean up committee when you cooked. While I still don’t agree with using every item in our cabinet, I will at least enjoy some warmed sauce on my pasta, and think of you.

…Going through Olivia’s clothes helping get her stuff together for her second year photos was frustrating. Ben had gone shopping, but I wanted to pick out what I know you would have wanted her to wear. I just wasn’t sure if you’d think it was perfect enough or not. You loved playing dress up with her. In fact, I think part of you wanted to have babies just so you could play dress up. Even for her one year pics, you were in the hospital so I had to do it then as well. I suppose I might be helping do it for the rest of her adolescence? This year wasn’t as bad because there was still a bunch of outfits left that you bought her. During your depressed times, you bought a bunch of clothes for future years because you were certain you wouldn’t be around to shop for her when she was in 2T, 3T, etc. While I was pissed your were shopping that far out at the time, I am happy you did it for this very reason.

…It’s not often I hear the song, “Ignition” by R. Kelly, but when I do, what a huge smile on my face. Remember being in Snowshoe with your students and Cory and Austin singing AND dancing to it? OMG. Right after the “how many cheeseballs can you stuff in your mouth” contest. That was such a fun trip. I can so easily hear you laughing at those kids. I’m sure they miss you just as much as anyone.

…Whenever I see someone wearing your pink bracelet still, almost a year out, I realize how much you really moved people. It really makes me happy inside to see the bracelets floating around. I still have people asking if we have any left because they want to continue to think of you daily. Mine has fallen off various times. Each time I think it’s you saying it’s ok to not wear it anymore. To let go a little. But then I always find it. Sometimes in the most random places and I can’t for the life of me figure out how it got there.

…My SIL’s mom was throwing out a wreath over the weekend. I saw it in the trash and for some unknown reason, I decided I should recycle it. I don’t have time for DIY crap. But this (you) wreath spoke to me. “Don’t let that go to waste. Little spray paint. Little embellishment. Perfection.” I wanted it to be teal but no such luck. So pink it is. Of course. You’d be proud that i’m takin the time to get all crafty up in here.

…I had to go to your house to dig out some costume stuff for Britt. While I was there, I grabbed some clothes and jackets for us. (Which btw, Britt found a bloody used tissue in one. SICK. But so not surprised.) I have checked your closet so many times over the past year for this blue shirt that I borrowed a couple years ago. You said you loved it on me and so I desperately wanted to have it. It was not there and suddenly it appeared a couple days ago. Just in time for me to wear it for my family pictures. Thanks for letting me find it! It matched my new skirt perfectly!

…Of course I’m making our Halloween costumes this year. Nori’s costume is a tribute to you. I can just see your eyes lighting up, hands near your heart with quick little claps, all giddy with excitement. The best part is that she talked about you as she was trying it on because she thought of you as well.

’tis the season.