this post was written by ali’s bff, julie. i asked her to gather some thoughts for me to post here so blogreaders can hear someone else’s voice for once. 🙂

i have literally known julie my whole life, she has always been and will continue to be a part of our family. a few yrs ago julie up and moved to the west coast and we don’t get to see her often anymore. i was thankful that julie was able to make it home a few times during ali’s battle, cause even at opposite ends of the US, they were still very close. you know, the kind of relationship you can not see each other for months, then pick up right where you left off. she was able to spend a week with ali a month or two prior to nov 3. she stayed up at the hospital each night, just as ali would have done for her helping her do all the things (everything) that ali simply didn’t have the energy to do on her own. when i would come up during those days, she would laugh and tell me about the evening before spent with julie. the inner librarian in ali made up this hilarious game to make julie entertain her. really, it just a way to try and make julie feel awkward which is next to impossible when they had done almost every imaginable thing together in life. she made julie tell her a bedtime story to help her fall asleep, with no prepration. i’m pretty sure just like giddy little school girls, the stories had the opposite effect. ali gave her the topic, genre and a “ready, go!” then she was forced to spew out a story on the spot. there was “true crime and friendship.” julie talked about 2 friends stealing back michael jackson’s red leather jacket from someone. on another night, the story had to involve the lochness monster. then a story with a red blinking light (like her finger with the monitor on it), but julie could only use the word “red” 3 times in the story. oy vey, where did she come up with this stuff?

the night everything happened i had to make a couple phone calls that, to this day, were the hardest of my life. with everything happening so quick that day, two of ali’s closest friends weren’t even aware she was in the ICU, much less in her final hours. i knew how much it would pain them to not speak to her one last time. so i did what i would hope someone would do for me (if in either position), and i called them. there really wasn’t an easy way to tell julie that the girl you’ve been bff’s with for almost 25 yrs would be taking her final breaths any moment. i told jules i would hold the phone to ali’s ear as long as she needed, to tell her anything and everything she wanted. i know ali could hear her and i’m sure desperately wanted to talk back.

needless to say, though trapped in a hospital, they were able to have a good time together. after all their years of dancing, playing sports, and theatrics, i wish their last sleepover wasn’t in the hospital. 🙁

thank you for sharing julie. i appreciate your words, “despite the terrible pain we are going through, we are in this together.” you’re damn right we are. xoxo. peace, smelli

***

…when I heard there was someone new at work named Dorcas. My Cabbage Patch Kid when we were growing up was named Clarissa Dorcas. And I didn’t want to tell anyone her middle name. It was the first secret I ever told you and you kept it so I (and my Cabbage Patch Kid) wouldn’t be embarrassed.
…when I picked up my cell phone. You are still the first person in my contact list. I’m not sure how long to keep your number in there.
…when I celebrated my birthday. I can’t even count how many bday’s we celebrated together in how many different ways. As we got older, we would make each other dinner to celebrate. I still remember when you bragged to me about the non-fat delish brownies you made me and then proceeded to pile on two tons of frosting.
…when I was in a meeting at work. I work on hair color now and I kept thinking back to the time when we thought it was a good idea to dye your hair red…with cranberry juice. The color didn’t quite work out as we planned and your hair was SO stiff!
…when I opened my email because my first 4 folders are “Ali”, “Ali’s Baby Shower”, “Ali’s Engagement Party”, and “Ali’s Wedding”.
…when I drove home from work. My commute is my quiet time when I reflect back on our 24 years of friendship and think that “best friends forever” should have meant longer than 24 years.
…when I heard a Michael Jackson song. It doesn’t matter what song it is, I think of you. And I think back how to we (and Sarah) used to make cupcakes on Michael Jackson’s birthday. I keep thinking that you are in heaven hanging out with him (that is, if he is in heaven).
…when I needed to put a cap on our bottle of wine. You gave us a cute wine stopper with a W on it (for “Wolf”). I still haven’t changed my last name and you hated that!!!
…when I took Jesse for a walk and gazed at the big open sky. Are you there looking down at me? I still have trouble believing you are not a phone call or text away.
…just because. I always do.

ben and ali were dressed as anchorman characters. 🙂