Mom articulated way better than anyone else could:
Here we go again. Thrown into a day of memories that we still can’t believe ever happened but it did so we have to cope. I still relive every minute of your sickness and especially this day. Even tho the days and years are flying by, we all still struggle with this life without you. Standing at your gravesite is still surreal. Seeing your name on that headstone is awful. I still just struggle to think I’ll never hear your voice and laughter again or hold you in my arms. I jump at the chance to watch any video of you. It makes my heart sing just watching and hearing you, especially the ones with Olivia. We’re trying not dwell on all the sadness and focus on our blessings as best as we can.
So much has happened this last year but the best was the birth of the Mel and Adam’s twins. If you were here, you and Olivia would be with Mel everyday going crazy over them just like all of us are attempting. Olivia is mad that Nori gets two babies when she wants one for herself so bad, so she begs us to take her there as much as possible. She’s really cute with them. They are the happiest babies I’ve ever been around. They look so much alike that I’m sure they’re going to mess with us as they get older. Some of us can tell the difference now but Mel still paints Ezra’s toenails blue on one foot to make sure who’s who!!! Nori is the perfect big sister and helps a lot. I spend lots of time there not only to help Mel but to help myself. Their smiles can pull me out of a funk instantly. Sending them to us I’m sure was God’s way of helping all of us mentally and keeping the sadness at a distance. It truly helps but He knows you can’t take a baby from a mom and dad and ever expect them to get over it. It doesn’t get easier and you don’t get over it. A piece of my heart is missing. I depend on your signs to let me know you’re still right next to me and that is definitely what helps me deal everyday. I thank God for allowing all of these signs.
This time of year is when you would be decorating the whole house and loving dressing up for Halloween. All of the Thanksgiving and Christmas things would be right behind. Ben’s not into any of the decorating so Olivia loves coming to our house to see a whole house full of every holiday’s decor. She is showing signs of being more like you when it comes to that and doing crafts. She is definitely an artist. She can’t get enough of painting and is always drawing everyone pictures. Jaclyn still remains such a blessing being her nanny. She does everything you would be doing with her everyday. Olivia is a really good girl and so sweet. Ben continues to do a great job raising her. If my voice even cracks a little when I start to talk about you, Olivia and Nori run to me and throw their arms around me and lay their heads on my chest. They don’t speak, they just hold me. They are both so sensitive.
We’re truly blessed with all eight grand babies. Life gets very busy with all of the sports and dancing and school functions. Your sisters struggle without you and your loss has brought them even closer. When the guys join us and we’re all together, we have so much fun. Ben has brought Lesley and Kaizer into our lives now as he is moving on trying to bring some joy back into his life. How unreal is it that Mike had to join you above to bring them both together. It helps that we’ve known her and Mike since you met Ben and that we all liked her a lot. She fits right in with us. They are very happy and Olivia and Kaizer get along great so that helps a lot too. I know this makes you happy since you told me so many times how you wanted him to move on if anything happened to you. But still sad that He took Mike away from Lesley to allow this to happen.
It’s so weird how life moves on and it changes constantly. The famous saying that ‘time heals everything’ isn’t true tho. You will never be gone from any of our lives. Silently always there. I can’t imagine it any other way. We all love and miss you so much. As I’m typing this on your FB page, I can see the videos and pictures that you posted. I’m smiling as tears are streaming down my face. I’m sad but so blessed that God let us share all the years with our crazy, fun and happy Ali that did so much for this world in such a short period of time. How fortunate that every life you touched was able to benefit in your life. Your whole XU crowd got together on Sunday and celebrated you. It’s extremely hard on all of them after losing you and now having Lisa dealing with cancer too. Be next to her always, Ali, holding her tight. Also let each of the girls feel you next to them helping them cope. So horrible that all of them are so young and they’re having to deal with this all over again.
Your Rock Pink 4 Ali Fund is going strong and I will be mailing another check today to a library in your memory helping so many people. This one to your school’s library in Pawtucket where you taught. They will be so surprised to receive it. Books keep coming in and I’m trying to get them out to all of the local schools in need. More then half of them have been distributed. We’ve had books for all ages donated. What an awesome tribute to you. We are so proud that you have made such an impact on this world involving literacy.
So we all will struggle to make it through this day but we will make it. You are with us always and never ever to be forgotten. I’ll be with the kids today so that will help make the day more bearable. We all love you and will laugh as we can’t think about you without remembering all the fun and goofy things that you made each of us do. Your crazy personality was contagious and that’s what we will try to focus on today. Looking forward to hearing about all the signs everyone receives today too. Never leave our sides, Ali Burger. Your bud, Bro Bob became Fr. Bob last month and he just messaged us that he is saying a mass in your honor. Awesome, huh?!!! Love you sweetie.💖mom
How about some Halloween fun to bring some smiles back on our faces. 🙂
I guess I should share what already happened to me first thing this morning! My life long friend, Heather, is a teacher. The last 4 yrs she has discussed my sister to her 3rd grade class and how they should strive to be a stand up individual like Ali and leave such an everlasting impact on the world. Then the students draw and write pink letters about Ali to our family. Heather sweetly delivers them to me each yr and last night she gave them to me in a pink gift bag. I set it in the center of my island just before bed after reading through them again with Nori. I woke up really early today to work and as I sneaked downstairs to grab my computer, I walked through the kitchen. A step or two before I was parallel with the pink bag, it fell over on its side, then onto the floor directly in my path. I literally exclaimed, “You gotta be kidding me?! Good morning, Ali, so glad you loved the letters too!!” Sigh, she truly is always right there. So amazing.
Thanks to everyone for your continued support over the years. We appreciate it more than you know. We love hearing her name and talking about her as much as possible. <3
Miss and love you Ali!